


Our Numbered Days

by honeychae



Category: Once
Genre: 2YEON - Freeform, College AU, F/F, TWICE AU, momo has a drinking problem jesus, namo - Freeform, samo, samo angst, samo fluff, twice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 03:35:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18296027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeychae/pseuds/honeychae
Summary: Sana doesn’t seem like the type to like poetryMomo doesn’t seem like the type to like Sana.





	Our Numbered Days

The party was a lot more crowded than Momo had anticipated.  
This wasn’t usually her thing, but since she was new to her friend group and still got invited, she decided to just swallow her fears and attend anyways.

Six months into her first year of college, Momo found herself mixed up with a group of 5 rather interesting girls, all of which were extremely gay and in the same year as her.  
She enjoyed being around them, but they were all extremely outgoing people, and Momo always felt like she didn’t fit in.  
But when your friends invite you to your first college house party, you usually don’t say no.

So she went anyways. 

Momo didn’t know much about partying, but she knew a lot about drinking, so frequent trips to the kitchen had her head buzzing after only an hour of being there.

Now feeling a bit confident, she made her way to the living room, joining the large crowd of people dancing in the center.  
She let herself go a little, maybe even too much, and closed her eyes while dancing to the music.   
Across the room, someone’s eyes were fixated on her.   
The way her body swayed perfectly to the rhythm caught another girl’s attention, a low cut shirt slightly hanging off Momo’s shoulder gave the girl ideas she probably shouldn’t have.  
Momo didn’t noticed though, too hung up in the moment to care if anyone was watching.

It wasn’t until a body brushed against her that she even opened her eyes. 

“You seem a little bit drunk, are you okay?” The girl asked as her hands held onto Momo’s bare arms.  
“Who me? Oh I’m fine, don’t worry,” She shouted over the noise.   
The girl didn’t let go though, so instead Momo turned around to glance up at her face.

“No fucking way, you’re that musician chick right? I’ve been to one of your campus shows, it was really good. Nayeon right?” She yelled, looking up to see an attractive older girl with dark brown hair. 

“Yeah, that’s me. What about you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before?” Nayeon asked. 

“Name’s Momo, I’m a dance major,” 

Nayeon smiled and nodded.  
“It’s nice to meet you. I have to say though, you’re really pretty. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” 

Momo blushed slightly before grabbing onto Nayeon’s sleeve and dragging her to a more open space. Drunkenly, Momo’s hands found their way around the girl’s neck and she began swaying.  
After a few seconds, Nayeon’s hands also found their way to Momo’s waist, foreheads pressed together as heavy breathing filled the silence.  
Momo lifted her head and placed her lips next to Nayeon’s ear.

“I think you’re pretty too,”   
Momo’s breath was warm against Nayeon’s skin, and she felt her hands tighten around her waist.

“I think I’d like to see you around more often, if that’s possible,” Nayeon replied.

Momo smiled and moved to face her, admiring the excited look in her eyes. 

“Sounds good to me,” she said cheerfully.  
Before she could think about it, Nayeon’s head moved to close the space between them, lips attaching onto each other softly.  
The kiss was short and sweet, enough to show how serious they were.

“As much as I’d like this continue, you’re still a little drunk and I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you,” Nayeon removed her hands from around Momo’s waist, causing the younger girl to frown.  
She gently kissed Momo’s cheek and reached around into her back pocket, retrieving her phone. 

Immediately Momo tried to snatch it back but Nayeon held it up over her head. 

“Hey!” Momo yelled jumping for it.

“Calm down, I’m not robbing you, I was just going to give you my number,”  
Nayeon chuckled, lowering her hand and putting the screen in front of Momo’s face for her to unlock it.

Momo rolled her eyes and typed in the code for her.  
After adding her number and setting the contact name as “Nayeon 💗” she handed it back to Momo.

“It’s been really interesting meeting you. I hope we can see each other again but for now I have to go find my friend Sana,”   
She smiled and trotted away, leaving Momo in complete awe at what had just happened.

“Are you okay?” Said a new voice, coming from somewhere behind her.

Momo turned to see one of her close friends, Jihyo, standing with a hand on her hip.

“I’m amazing,” Momo replied, her cheeks turning red.

“Well you seem drunk to me, do you wanna go home?” Jihyo asked.

“Sure, but we have to find Jeongyeon and Chae first,” Momo glanced around the club in search of her other friends.  
“They’re already in the car with Tzuyu, Chae got sick and wanted to leave so we all agreed to go with her, I just wanted to see if you were coming,”   
Momo nodded and grabbed onto Jihyo’s hand, the two of them stepping outside into the fresh air.

On the drive home, Momo pulled out her phone and opened up Nayeon’s name, typing a quick message to make sure she also had her number.

Unknown Number: I had fun with you tonight. I’m sorry if I said or did anything dumb, I usually don’t do stuff like that, not even when I’m drunk.   
Nayeon 💗: well then I guess that makes me special  
Momo 🍑: I guess it does  
Nayeon 💗: I’d ask to meet you tomorrow, but I’m assuming that hangover you’ll be having is gonna get in the way.  
Momo 🍑: most likely   
Nayeon 💗: Sunday it is then, meet me at the park down the street from the main campus library .   
Momo 🍑: it’s a date :)

Momo smiled and leaned back against the seat, adrenaline rushing through her head.

“What are you all smiley about?” Tzuyu asked from the front seat.

Momo blushed and shoved her phone into her purse.  
“Nothing, just the fact that Nayeon, the girl we saw live last month, gave me her number tonight,” 

Chae whipped her head around and stared at Momo wide-eyed.  
“You mean like the really hot singer-chick Nayeon?” She asked.

“Hey,” Tzuyu smacked her girlfriend’s arm but Chae didn’t bother to turn back around.

“Yep,” Momo replied proudly.

“And you’re already texting her? Aren’t you scared you’re gonna come off as clingy?” Jeongyeon joked, sitting to the right of Momo in the back seat.

“I’ll have you know, she asked me on a date,” Momo stuck her tongue out at her older friend.

“I’m happy for you,” Jeongyeon said, rubbing the top of Momo’s head to mess up her hair.

Momo smiled and closed her eyes, satisfied with the way her night had turned out.

——

“How long are you gonna be gone?” Momo asked Nayeon through FaceTime 5 months later.

“Only about a month, but I promise it’ll go by quick,” she replied. 

“I know, I’m just sad that we’ve only been officially together for 3 months and you already have to leave me,” Momo frowned at her. 

After Nayeon hung out with her at the Park that first day, Momo knew she wanted to be with her.  
It only took about 6 dates and two months of denying it for her to finally admit it, but soon enough the two were official.

Except now, Nayeon was leaving for America to produce music.  
Momo was extremely proud of her of course, but she couldn’t deny how much she was going to miss Nayeon.

“You know I’ll be your biggest supporter no matter where you are in the world,” Momo gave her a big smile.  
“Gross!” She heard someone yell from across the room.

“Shut up Dahyun,” Nayeon shot a glare to the younger girl, causing Momo to laugh.  
“You guys are like children. Tell Dahyun that when I actually get to meet her we’re fighting,”

“Guarantee I’ll win,” Dahyun took the phone from Nayeon and raised her eyebrows at Momo.

“Give it back,” Nayeon yelled. Suddenly her girlfriend’s face reappeared on the screen.

“Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you,” Said Nayeon.

“What kind of surprise?” Momo asked.

“That kind that’s surprising,” Nayeon joked, causing Momo to roll her eyes.

“Very cute. Well anyways I have to get going, maybe I can stop by your place when I get off work later, okay?” Momo said noticing the time. 

“actually, if you want your surprise then you have to come to my studio around 8” replied Nayeon with a smirk.

“Alright, sounds good. Have fun ladies,” Momo hung up the phone and continued focusing on her work.

By the time 8 rolled around, she was well beyond tired, but sucked it up and made her way across town to the studio Nayeon rented.  
Finally arriving, she slowly opened the door only to find a dark and seemingly empty room.

“Nayeon I swear to-“  
Suddenly the lights flickered on and four girls jumped out of hiding.

“Surprise!” They all yelled in unison, running towards you with Nayeon in the front.

“I figured it was time you met everyone, since I’m requiring them to look after you while I’m gone,” she pulled Momo into a hug.

Out of the corner of her eye, Momo saw Dahyun fighting to jump on Mina’s back while Mina did her best to escape. 

“These are the people you’ve hired to look after me?” Momo asked with a mocking tone in her voice.

“Hey!” Mina yelled.

“Don’t worry, they aren’t idiots all the time. At least Sana isn’t, but Sana isn’t much of anything ever,” Nayeon replied.

You moved your focus to the dark haired girl with a frown on her face, the only one not looking excited.

 

“What’s wrong Sana, mad I stole your girl or something?” Momo said in hopes of getting her to laugh.

“Whatever,” Sana responded coldly.

Nayeon shot her a glare but didn’t say a word. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Momo’s waist and kissed her.

“Well I’ve gotta go take care of some stuff for the trip, but I want you to stay here and get to know everyone better. Sound good?” She asked.

Momo nodded and kissed her girlfriend’s cheek before sending her out the door, leaving her alone with three complete strangers; only one of which who didn’t seem happy to see her.

“Don’t worry about Sana, she’ll warm up to you,” Dahyun said reassuringly.

“Yeah and once he does, you’ll only notice a slight difference,” Mina elbowed Sana, causing the girl to snap her head up.

“Will both of you shut the fuck up? I’m leaving,” 

With that, Sana shoved passed Momo and slammed the door shut. 

“What did I even do?” Momo asked the two remaining girls.

“Probably nothing. Sana has an attitude most of the time so you just gotta learn to ignore it. I swear she’s actually pretty cool,” Dahyun reassured.

Momo nodded and glanced towards the door.  
She couldn’t help but feel guilty for making fun of Sana, thinking it was the reason she got so mad.

“Oh my god Momo, you should listen to the new demo Nayeon’s working on,” Mina called from the other side of the studio.

Momo smiled and agreed, walking over and taking a pair of headphones Dahyun handed her.

The next couple of hours were spent like that, the three of them listening to music and getting to know each other, no one even caring about what happened to Sana.

——

 

After a couple more hours spent with the girls, Momo’s favorite face walked back through the door.

“Where’s Sana?” Nayeon asked, immediately noticing her friend’s absence.

“She stormed out right after you did. Probably went to the coffee shop like usual,” said Dahyun casually.

“Well why did she storm out?” Nayeon questioned.

“Me and Mina were just poking fun at her, she’s too sensitive,” Dahyun said rolling her eyes.  
Nayeon walked over and smacked her across the head.

“What the hell!” Dahyun yelled shooting up from her chair to hit Nayeon back. Mina grabbed her by the shirt before she got the chance.

“Stop fighting,” Momo threatened both of them.

“I told you guys to stop picking on her, you know she doesn’t find it funny. Now I’ve gotta waste my time to go and look for her!”   
Nayeon shot a glare to Mina, who remained silent.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll go find her. You said she’s probably at the coffee shop right?” Momo found herself offering.  
Dahyun laughed to herself before walking over and placing her hands on Momo’s shoulders.

“You realize you’re like, her least favorite person here right?” She joked.  
Momo shuffled out of Dahyun’s embrace and looked to Nayeon.

“I’ll be in back a few, I’m gonna go find Sana,”   
With that, she hurried out the studio and made her way down the street.

After about a ten minute walk, Momo found herself standing outside a small yet popular coffee shop that she’s been to before.  
Through the large glass window, she saw Sana sitting by herself reading a book.  
Stepping inside, the fresh smell of coffee greeted her as she made her way over to Sana.

“I don’t wanna talk to you,” Sana said without even looking up.  
Momo took a seat anyways and admired how nice Sana looked when she was reading.

She shook the thought away and offered her a smile instead.

“I know you don’t like me, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever done anything to you. But I hate the idea of you sitting here all alone feeling upset,” 

“Who says I’m upset?” Sana questioned, still not bothering to even glance up.

“Well you stormed out 20 minutes into me being there, so I can at least assume you’re unhappy,” 

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Sana laughed.

Momo could feel herself growing angry but kept her smile anyways.

“You know, you’ve got a really bad attitude,” she said. 

“Why do you even care?” Sana asked, finally looking up.  
Her eyes were cold as usual, but Momo could tell there was a little bit of softness to them this time.

“Because you’re Nayeon’s friend, and you seem like a good person,” she replied.  
Sana sighed and ran a hand through her hair, placing her book on the table.

“Look, don’t take it personally, but I’m not the type of person you wanna be friends with. Nor am I the type of person you want to annoy, so if you’ll excuse me, I have to get going.” With that, Sana stood up and made her way towards the exit.

“Sana wait-“ Momo yelled, running after her.  
Sana turned around and waited for her to say something.  
“You forgot this,” Momo held out her hand, which contained Sana’s book.

“Keep it, read it actually. If you know how,” Sana replied before rolling her eyes and walking out, leaving Momo standing there with the book still in hand.  
____

A week past and neither Momo or Sana spoke about the coffee shop.

Her book laid untouched on the table by Momo’s nightstand, too scared to read past the cover page.  
It was a book entitled Our Numbered Days and there was a book mark placed towards the middle, but her curiosity never got the better of her.

Instead, she spent the past week helping Nayeon get ready for her trip, which included a lot of time spent with her friends.  
Momo became quite close with Dahyun and Mina, who Nayeon hired to visit a lot while she was gone.  
Momo didn’t mind though, both girls seemed sweet and she would love to get closer with her girlfriend’s friends.

 

When the day for her flight finally rolled around, Jihyo drove Momo and Nayeon to the airport where they met up with the rest of the girls, who also wanted to send her off.

“Think of me when you’re in L.A,” said Dahyun, winking.

“Think of me when you walk past any cute girls. And by think of me I mean get one of their numbers and send it to me,” Jeongyeon added.

“She most certainly won’t be getting any numbers from any females,” Momo said defensively.  
Nayeon smiled and wrapped her arms around Momo.

“Don’t worry, there’s no one else’s number I’d even want,” she kissed the top of Momo’s head.

“Just because you’re tied down doesn’t mean you can’t get Jeongyeon some. Sharing is caring Nayeon.” this time the joke came from Mina.  
Momo laughed and shifted her head to scan the airport.

“Where’s Sana?” She asked.

“I swear we need to buy her a leash,” said Dahyun, who was also looking around for her.  
Out the corner of her eye, Momo saw Sana sitting on the floor, leaned up against a wall.  
“I’ll be right back,” she said to Nayeon before heading over and sitting next to Sana.

“What is it now,” she asked, her voice clearly showing annoyance.

“Don’t you wanna say goodbye to Nayeon?” Momo looked down at her phone and noticed the time.

“It’s not like she won’t be back in a month, what’s the point of saying goodbye?” Sana mumbled.

Momo shook her head and stood up.  
As she began to walk away, she felt something pull on the bottom of her pant leg.

“Did you read it yet?” Asked Sana, who still remained on the floor, her eyes focused anywhere but Momo’s face.  
Momo looked at her, then looked back to Nayeon.  
Without responding, she tugged her leg away and kept walking.

Sana pretended not to be hurt.  
She didn’t care about Momo anyways, she just wanted her book back.  
At least that’s what she told herself as she watched the other girl walk away.

“I’ll see you in one month, I promise,”   
Nayeon was standing outside her gate, one hand on Momo’s waist and the other cupping her cheek.  
Momo nodded and closed her eyes, not wanting to let go.  
“Momo?” Nayeon asked.  
Momo hummed in response and looked up.

“I love you,” 

Momo stayed quiet for a minute.   
Nayeon had never said that before, and Momo certainly wasn’t expecting to hear it.  
For whatever reason, Momo couldn’t bring herself to say it back.  
Instead, she nodded and leaned up to kiss her.  
Nayeon kissed back before pulling away and smiling.  
“Call me when you land okay?” Momo noticed Nayeon’s smile fade a little bit but she pretended not too.

“Okay,”   
And with that, Nayeon left. 

____

Just do it already.

Momo stood at the edge of her bed and stared at Sana’s book.   
She couldn’t figure out why, but she was absolutely terrified to even open the damn thing.   
The bookmark was still neatly tucked between two pages, giving her flashbacks to that day in the coffee shop.  
The way Sana looked when she was reading played through her head and somehow she had memorized every little detail of it.  
Momo couldn’t deny Sana was attractive, but it was more than that.

Something about the way Sana looked made Momo feel warm, but she could never bring herself to admit it.  
Besides, she’s Nayeon’s friend, and Nayeon was the only girl who truly mattered to Momo.

At least that’s what she told herself to keep from reading the book. 

Instead, she walked into her living room.  
It had been only been a week since Nayeon left, and despite talking to her everyday Momo still felt lonely without her around.  
She knew Nayeon was really busy today so FaceTime wasn’t an option, but Momo still sent her a text in hopes that she would respond.

Momo🍑: hey, I know you’re busy today but I just thought I’d tell you that I miss you  
Momo🍑: if you get any free time tonight you should call me   
Momo🍑: you’re not gonna believe what Dahyun told me today  
Nayeon💘: can you please stop texting me? I’m in a meeting right now and you’re fucking blowing up my phone. It’s annoying Momo 

 

Momo frowned and reread the message again.  
Why was she acting so rude? Nayeon was almost never cold to her, and she’s definitely never called her annoying before.   
Momo felt herself growing angrier, and she tried her best not to send another text.  
But of course, it wasn’t fair for Nayeon to get away with being so harsh, and soon enough she found herself typing out yet another message.

Momo🍑: well damn, sorry for MISSING you. Was it really necessary for you to call me annoying though? Fuck off Nayeon, text me when you drop the attitude. 

She slammed her phone down on the coffee table and paced back and fourth through the room.  
She thought about calling Mina, but it wouldn’t be any use.  
Nayeon’s always been the type to keep shit to herself, and dragging one of her friends into the situation would only piss her off further.

Suddenly, Momo heard her phone go off and shot a glance towards the table.  
“If that’s her I swear to god,” she mumbled, picking it up and turning on the screen.

Instead of Nayeon’s name, there was a new message from chaeyoung.

Chae 👶🏻: hey uuuh not to sound nosey but did see what Nayeon posted on her Instagram story?   
Momo 🤡: no???  
Chae 👶🏻: I mean I’m sure it’s not anything but as your friend I wanted to ask about it  
Momo 🤡: What did she post??  
Chae 👶🏻: go look at her story and see 

 

Without replying, Momo quickly switched apps and pulled up her girlfriend’s Instagram.  
Sure enough, the latest update on Nayeon’s story showed her at a restaurant with some girl you’ve never seen before with a caption that was just a bunch of hearts. 

Momo wasn’t the jealous type. 

In fact, Nayeon was more jealous than her in their relationship.  
But she couldn’t help the tears that welled up in her eyes as she thought about Nayeon lying to her.  
Maybe she was mad about the text, or that Nayeon wasn’t being honest, or that she was out with another girl, but either way, Momo was pissed.

She didn’t know what to do, so she went to the only people she knew could help.

“Jeongyeon,” Momo said when her best friend finally picked up the phone.

“Girl what is going on? Mina just texted me that you told Nayeon to fuck off,” Jeongyeon asked.

Momo stayed quiet for a minute, not sure if she wanted to go into all the details.

“Is this about the girl on Nayeon’s Instagram?” 

“No!” Momo immediately yelled back.

“Jesus calm down. Okay look- me, Jihyo, and Dahyun are out right now but we’ll swing by later to talk. Just don’t text Nayeon anything else or you’re gonna make shit worse,” Jeongyeon said with a serious tone.

“Fine, but I didn’t start this so don’t take her side so easily,” Momo hung up the phone and threw it on the couch.

____

 

Momo was about to head back to her room to sleep all the drama off, when someone knocked on her apartment door.  
Slowly, she opened it to reveal Sana awkwardly swaying in the hallway.

“Oh?” Was all she could think to say as Sana looked at her and rubbed the back of her neck.  
“Nayeon sent me,” she replied bluntly.

“And you actually came?”

She rolled his eyes and rested her arm against the door frame, leaning over Momo slightly .  
“Don’t flatter yourself. At first I said no but then she offered me $20 when she got back so I agreed,”  
Momo nodded and moved back into the apartment, taking a seat on her couch.  
Sana stepped inside a little further, but didn’t bother to join her.

“Can you believe what she did to me? How fucked up do you have to be to lie to your own girlfriend like that,” Momo yelled out of nowhere. 

“I don’t care about your relationship with Nayeon,” Sana replied casually.

Momo rolled her eyes and looked out the window.  
“Right, I forgot you don’t care about anything,” She mumbled.

San stepped towards her and knelt down.  
“Did you read it yet?” 

Momo’s eyes shot up and landed on hers.  
“What?” She asked.  
“The book. I gave it to you. Did you read any of it yet?”   
Momo shook her head no as Sana stood back up.

“Why?” Momo asked 

“Because its a good book. Although, you don’t seem very smart so you might not get it,” Sana replied with a grin.

“Why are you such a bitch?” Momo snapped, still sitting.

“I doubt you want the answer to that” Sana walked towards the door and grabbed the handle.  
Before leaving, she turned back towards Momo. 

“I’m not asking again. Please, at least read the one page I marked. That’s all I want,” was the last thing Sana said before slamming the apartment door shut. 

____

 

The next morning Momo was awoke by someone calling her.

Nayeon.

She rolled her eyes but pressed answer anyways.

“Babe? Can we talk please I know have a lot of explaining to do,” Nayeon begged through the speaker.  
Momo stayed quiet for a minute, not sure if she should give in so easily.

“Talk.” Momo responded plainly.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you I promise, but these damn interviewers were already yelling at me, then you texted me and they kept going. I got stressed out and I know that’s not a good reason to act the way I did but I really am sorry,” Nayeon said urgently.

“What about the girl?” Momo asked.

“From my instagram story? Babe, she’s one of my high school friends that’s moved here after graduation, I went to lunch with her and that’s it. The photo was posted an hour after the meeting anyways,” 

Momo mentally slapped herself for never checking when the picture was posted.

“I’m sorry I got so mad at you,” she said quietly.  
“I’m just glad you can forgive me,” Nayeon replied.  
“But I have some bad news,” 

Momo felt her heart drop.  
“What kind of bad news?” 

“The kind that requires me to stay in America for another month,” 

Momo felt tears well up in her eyes. 

“A whole other month?” She asked, her voice cracking as she tried to keep her crying quiet.

“Babe please don’t be sad, I promise it won’t be that long. It’s just I had an idea for another song and the guy who’s gonna help me produce it doesn’t like to travel,” Nayeon reasoned.

“So you’re staying another month by choice?” Momo was trying her best not to get angry again.

“Come on you know how important my music is to me,” 

Momo wiped away a tear and sighed.

“You’re right, and I’m sorry. I just miss you. I have to go now, call me later?” She lied.

“Of course. I love you okay?” 

There it was again. Those three dumb words.

Mom hung up without responding.

Instead, she looked around her room blurry-eyed and saw Sana’s book in its exact same place.

Momo was so upset about Nayeon she needed anything as a distraction. Finally, she opened to the page with the book mark in it.  
Without reading anything at first, she stared at the pages and let her tears paint them. 

The poem was titled “Como Conservatory, St. Paul, Winter” and two parts of it were highlighted.

She ended up reading the poem 11 times to be exact.  
Every word of it caught her attention, and she found herself desperate to understand the meaning.   
After she finished the eleventh time, she directed her focus to the first highlighted section.  
It was a paragraph that read

“I want to kiss you now, but I do not tell you because it is no longer surprising or sad.  
You are getting up to leave and maybe if I sit here  
long enough, here in this place I have seen in dreams,”

The words flooded through Momo’s brain and infected every thought she had.   
She didn’t understand what was so important about them or why Sana wanted her to read this so badly.  
Next, she decide to focus on the other highlighted part, but it only made her feel worse.

“If I sit here long enough you will go out and try on other loves and then come back to me”

Her mind raced a million places but all she could really think about was Sana.  
Momo hated when her thoughts led to Sana because Sana wasn’t her girlfriend.  
Sana didn’t even like her.  
But Momo still wanted to see her. 

____

 

Momo sat in the coffee shop and stirred a cup of something she couldn’t even pronounce.  
The smell of hazelnut was a lot easier to focus on than thinking about what she was going to say to Sana.  
At first she thought it would be a good idea to surprise her, because she comes here every day, but as time went on she only felt more and more nervous.

What was she suppose to say? 

“Hey Sana I know you hate me and that I have a girlfriend but it kinda sounds like you’re in love with me and I’m not opposed to feeling the same way?”   
Of course not, she sounded crazy.  
But did Sana highlighting those sections mean anything at all? Or was this all just some big misunderstanding?

She ran out of time to answer her own questions because soon enough that familiar cold yet beautiful face piled through the front door.

At the sound of the welcome bell Momo looked up and met her eyes.   
Sana slowly made her way towards Momo and stopped behind the chair on the other side of the table.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.  
Momo refused to look back up.  
Instead, she kicked the chair out and motioned for Sana to sit, which she obeyed.

“Why did you think I would like that poem so much?” Momo said, getting straight to the point.

“I didn’t say you’d like any one specific poem, I said you should read the book. I have no idea what you’re on about,” Sana bluffed.  
Momo stayed quiet for a minute, trying to find the courage to ask her next question.  
“We’re the highlighted parts for me?” She mumbled, finally looking up.  
Sana stared back, and for the first time since Momo met her, she smiled.

“You’re pretty full of yourself if you think I waste my time reading poems that remind me of you. Isn’t that your girlfriend’s job?” 

“Leave Nayeon out of it for a minute and just answer the question,” Momo said annoyed.  
Sana stayed quiet.  
Momo rolled her eyes and reached down into her bag, retrieving the book.  
“Fine then. Take it back, if that’s all you wanted,” she slid it across the table but Sana made move to pick it up.

Momo rose from the table and took a few steps towards the door before Sana called after her.

“I’ve never been good at talking to people,” she yelled.

Momo froze in place before slowly turning back around.

“Ever since I was a kid, I’ve considered myself to be too boring for people. It’s a terrible outlook to have I know, but I’m so use to being ignored that I often find myself doing it to other people,” 

Momo sat back down and leaned forward, staring at her.  
“Are you trying to get pity out of me?” She asked.

“Of course not. It doesn’t bother me if you like me or not,” Sana defended.

“I never said I didn’t like you. In fact, I tried to be your friend the first time we ever met and you were nothing but a bitch. If anyone hates anyone here, it’s you,” 

Sana cleared her throat and looked down, fiddling with her hands in her lap.

“But I can see where you’re coming from, so I’ll give you an offer. If you decide to start being nice to me and treating me like a friend, I’ll forgive you. But don’t think you can just bullshit through it. I want the full best friend experience,” Momo playfully punched Sana’s arm before grabbing her stuff and heading out once again.

“Also, Sana?” She said before stepping outside.

“Yes?” Sana called back.

“I know you’re scared to say whatever you’re thinking. So I won’t force you. But just know that I’m sorry if things aren’t how you want them to be. Maybe someday time will be on your side. Think of me when that happens okay?”   
Momo never gave her a chance to respond as she skipped out the door, a new sense of warmth spreading across her face. 

___

As the weeks passed, Momo and Sana found themselves spending a lot of time together.

 

As guilty as it made her feel, Sana couldn’t deny how much she enjoyed being around Momo.  
Momo made her feel like the most interesting person in the world, the first in a while. 

Everyday the two spent laughing together in the coffee shop, and some nights Sana even showed up at Momo’s apartment, whether she invited her or Sana just felt lonely, and Momo never got tired of it.

Of course she still missed Nayeon, but she had resorted to texting Momo maybe once a day, twice if she got lucky. It felt nice to have someone else by her side, even if it was a little shady.

One night in particular, Sana was over because she wanted to show Momo a new poetry book she bought.  
It was already late when she arrived, but Momo wasn’t tired and saw no reason not to let her in.

“read me another,” Momo said when Sana finished the eighth one.

“You like them that much huh?” Sana laughed, flipping through the pages to find another one she liked.

Momo loved the sound of Sana’s laugh. 

“I like the way you read them,” Momo rolled over onto her stomach and watched Sana with admiration. 

She was sitting on the floor with the book in her lap while Momo laid sprawled out across the bed.

Suddenly, Momo heard her phone ring from the night stand and jumped to grab it.  
She looked down at the name then back up to Sana.

“It’s Nayeon,” 

Sana shrugged and continued reading.   
Momo pressed answer and suddenly Nayeon’s face appeared on the screen.  
“Hey babe, I didn’t think you’d still be awake,” Nayeon said with a smile.

“Momo I found a good one!” Sana yelled excitedly from the floor.

Momo couldn’t hide her smile as Nayeon wrinkled her eyebrows and waited for her to explain.

“I’m with Sana right now, she’s reading me a book,” Momo said casually.  
Nayeon’s expression only became more confused as she processed what Momo said.  
“Babe..” she said slowly.  
“It’s like 1 am there..” 

Momo laughed and rolled her eyes.  
“Nayeon relax, me and Sana arent having sex while you’re gone, we’re just hanging out,” 

You saw Sana’s eyes widden as she blushed and buried her head into her lap.

“Although you might wanna hurry up and come home, I don’t think she’s opposed to the idea,” Momo said with a smirk. 

Sana tossed the book at her head but Momo moved out of it’s way.

“Well actually that’s why I called. I’ve decided to come home a little bit earlier, I’m getting on my flight now,” 

Momo stared at her in awe before swallowing and smiling.

“That’s great babe, I can’t wait to see you,” 

She heard Sana get up and leave the room without another word.

After the FaceTime ended, Momo wandered into the hall looking for Sana.  
She found her next to the sliding glass door of the balcony, curled up on the floor with her knees tucked in.

“You good?” Momo asked taking a seat next to her and resting her head on Sana’s shoulder.  
“I didn’t think she’d be back so soon,” Sana replied, still looking out the window.

“I know, I’m so excited. I don’t think I’ve ever missed someone this much,” Momo said excitedly.

“Sometimes I wish we could run away and live in our own little world, just the two of us,” Sana whispered.

“Me too” thought Momo.

 

She knew she was hurting her. Although she’d never admit it, Momo knew that Sana had feelings for her.

But of course, Nayeon was coming home, and despite everything that’s happened, Momo still wanted to be with her.  
It killed her to know that Sana felt that way, and maybe apart of her felt the same, but it didn’t matter.

Time was never really on Sana’s side.

“No matter what happens we’ll always have each other, I promise,” Momo replied.  
Sans kissed the top of her head softly, praying Momo wouldn’t shove her away.  
Instead, she nuzzled closer into Sana and stayed that way till they fell asleep.

___

Nayeon had been home for a few days now, and things seemed to be returning to normal.  
Momo could tell Sana was growing more distant again, but she pretended not to notice.

Instead, she stood outside her apartment and waited for Sana to pick her up.  
All of her friends had decided to throw Nayeon a welcome home party last minute, and since it was a surprise, she asked Sana for a ride. 

 

When she pulled up next to her, Momo couldn’t help but let her jaw drop a little.   
Sana was in a casual black dress, her hair hangingly loosely around her collar bones, which were clearly exposed. A bright smile spread across her face as she got out to open Momo’s door.

“What are you looking at?” Sana asked when she climbed in next to her.  
“Nothing,” Momo choked out, quickly looking away with red cheeks.

The drive there was a comfortable silence, soft music playing through the speakers as Momo watched out the window.

She didn’t notice the way Sana’s eyes would fall on her every now and then.

She could never help it, she loved the look on Momo’s face as she stared up at the stars, completely unaware that she was much more beautiful than all of them.

Sana cringed at her own thoughts and looked back towards the road. 

 

When they arrived, she opened Momo’s door and helped her out, earning a few stares from the people outside.

From the corner of her eye, Momo saw Tzuyu and Mina standing next to the front door of Jihyo’s house.

“Hey guys,” she said walking up to them.  
“You just got here? Nayeon’s been inside for at least 20 minutes wondering where you were. Go find her!” Tzuyu yelled.  
Sana laughed and patted Momo’s shoulder.  
“Don’t bother looking for me inside,” she said bluntly before walking away.

 

“Is she okay?” Mina asked.  
Momo shrugged and looked back towards the door, but Sana was already gone.  
“Shall we?” Mina said, offering Momo her arm which she gladly took as the three of them headed inside.

The scenery immediately took Momo back to the night she met Nayeon.

The way she held onto her as she swayed drunkly in Nayeon’s arms echoed in her mind.  
The feeling of being safe in the hands of stranger made Momo’s heart sink.  
How different things were now, despite all the months that had past she still felt that Nayeon was somewhat a stranger.

Momo began to wonder what it would of been like if Sana was the one who approached her. If she was the one that whispered in Momo’s ear and kissed her softly.  
Momo’s thoughts were replaced with guilt the minute she saw Nayeon   
across the room.

She looked flawless even though she was wearing nothing but jeans and a plain white tee shirt, her hair pulled back into a ponytail making her look even better.

Momo almost felt herself falling again, everything about this night brought her back to the first time.

But then she saw her.   
The girl from Nayeon’s Instagram story.  
Some pretty blonde American dream in a too-short dress, her arm wrapped around Nayeon’s waist like it belonged there.

“Don’t be so jealous,” Jeongyeon said from behind her.

Momo jumped at the sound of Jeongyeon’s voice and removed her eyes from Nayeon’s friend.

“I’m not jealous,” Momo’s voice came out unsteady, confirming what she claimed to be untrue. 

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and shoved Momo forward.  
She nodded at her and began walking towards Nayeon.

“Hey,” Momo said casually.

Nayeon smiled and kissed her on the cheek with a little extra force.

“I’ve missed you! I thought you weren’t going to show up at first. Is Sana here?” Nayeon wrapped her arms around Momo’s neck.

“Yeah, she’s the one who brought me, but I’m not sure where she is now,” Momo replied, hugging onto her girlfriend’s waist.

Nayeon pulled away and gave her a disapproving look.

“You were late to my party because you were with Sana?” She asked.

“No, I was late because we had to get gas and turns out, Sana is really bad at pumping gas,” Momo laughed at the memory of Sana spraying gasoline all over the pavement after they left Momo’s apartment.

“Well, no worries. I’m about to make a big announcement so make sure you’re in the room for it. Jihyo set up a cute little stage with a mic and everything,” Nayeon pecked her on the lips before saying goodbye and dragging the American girl off somewhere else.

Momo went to look for Sana, who had disappeared the minute they arrived.

“Momo, what’s up?” Jihyo said bumping into her on the back porch.

“Have you seen Sana?” Momo asked over the loud music.

“She asked me if she could go upstairs, something about not feeling well, so I told her yeah. I’m assuming she’s in my room,” Jihyo raised her cup to Momo and walked back inside the house.

Momo followed, but instead of heading towards the living room like Jihyo, she climbed up the stairs and called out Sana’s name. 

When no one responded, she peaked her head into Jihyo’s room.

There on the bed, laid Sana, staring blankly up the ceiling.

“Are you okay?” Momo asked, stepping all the way in and closing the door behind her.

“I’m trying Momo, I’m really trying,” Sana whispered.

Momo could tell she was about to cry, but didn’t mention it.

“Tried What?” Momo asked.

Sana sat up and grabbed Momo’s hand, leading her to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“I tried to feel happy for you. If your happy is Nayeon, then I wanted it to be mine too. I thought that if I was just mean to you it wouldn’t hurt as much, but you’re so sweet Momo. Everything about you makes me smile, I didn’t have the guts to push you away. But I should of. We can’t be friends anymore Momo. In fact, we were never friends. This is a mistake.” 

Sana was definitely crying now.

“I don’t understand, what did I do wrong? I thought we cared about each other Sana, I’ve always been there for-“

“No you haven’t,” Sana cut Momo off before she could finish.

“That little girlfriend of yours has been lying to you since the day you guys met and she ruined everything. It’s so selfish for me to say that, but even if Nayeon is my best friend, it’s still fucked up what she did,”

Momo grabbed onto to Sana’s shoulders and stared into her eyes.

“What did Nayeon do? I’m so confused Sana tell me what’s going on,”

“Your first day here, I told Nayeon I thought you were pretty. Every day since, I developed a little crush on you. Me and Chae were in the same art class and I told her to bring you to that party. I was so nervous that night, I hid behind Jihyo the whole time. I asked Nayeon to get your number for me, and she promised me she would. I watched her go over there, but instead of coming back, you drug her away into the crowd. When she came back, she told me that you weren’t interested in me,”   
Sana buried her head in Momo’s shoulders to stop herself from crying harder. 

“I never knew that. Sana, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. The night me and Nayeon met- fuck Sana the night me and Nayeon met she never even mentioned your name. I feel so bad.” 

Now it was Momo’s turn to cry.  
She hated seeing Sana so upset, but she had no idea what to do.   
Nayeon was her girlfriend, and she cared about her a lot.

But then there was Sana.  
The girl with a bad attitude and a love for annoying poetry.  
The girl with a bad attitude and a love for Momo.  
Poetry made Sana think of Momo.

Everything made Sana think of Momo.

The room went quiet for a minute.  
Both girls refused to make eye contact as they slowly stopped crying.

“Momo,” Sana said as she sniffled and lifted her face to look at the older girl.

Momo smiled at her, and didn’t move away when Sana started leaning in closer.  
Before she could think about it, Sana’s mouth was on hers, and it tasted sweet.

Kissing Sana wasn’t anything like kissing Nayeon.  
Kissing Sana was warm, the only word Momo could ever think to describe her.

The girl with the cold eyes always made her feel warm.

Kissing Sana was better than kissing Nayeon.  
In fact, kissing Sana tasted like the “I love you” Momo refused to say to Nayeon.

It was terrible.  
Momo felt terrible.

She felt even more terrible when Nayeon came storming through the bedroom door.

“What the fuck,” she said in confusion.

Momo pulled away and jumped up from the bed.

“Nayeon I can explain,” she yelled.

“Honestly Momo, I don’t want you to. Its pretty clear what’s going on here,” Nayeon replied with her jaw clenched.

“No I swear I-“

“Just shut the fuck up Momo,” Nayeon snapped.

Momo remained silent.

“The one thing I asked was that you don’t miss my big announcement. But not only did you miss all of it, you missed it because you were busy kissing my best friend,” Nayeon shot a glare to Sana.

“I kissed her first, it wasn’t like that,” Sana mumbled under her breath.

“Either way, I hope you too have fun. I guess now I know what it’s like to love someone while they’re in love with someone else,” Nayeon replied.

“I don’t love Sana,” Momo lied.

Sana was really glad Momo couldn’t see her face.  
She was sure it looked heart broken.

“Well that’s between you guys now. Leave me out of it,” Nayeon said, tears falling down her face as she turned and walked away.

“You didn’t mean that, did you?” Sana asked.

Momo turned around, an angry look spread across her face mixed with red cheeks and puffy eyes. 

“Don’t you even dare,” She spat out.

“I don’t understand Momo, I thought this is what you wanted. Nayeon’s leaving for a tour next week and I thought-“

“Nayeon’s What?” Momo asked.

“She-she’s leaving,” Sana fidgeted with the hem of her skirt to avoid eye contact. 

“And no one told me?” Momo practically yelled.

“That’s what the announcement was, tonight. But I thought you knew, I thought she told you. Momo I’m so sorry,” Sana cried.

“Stop,” Momo said coldly.

“Why are you acting like this? The whole time Nayeon was gone you led me on, convincing me this is what you wanted. What changed?” Sana asked, her voice becoming more desperate.

“This isn’t what I wanted at all Sana. I want my girlfriend, I want her here, with me. I only wanna kiss her. I don’t care about the party or the poems or who saw me first, you ruined everything Sana,” Momo lied again.

Before Sana could respond, Momo walked out the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Outside, she ran down the side walk until she caught up to a still-crying Nayeon.

“Get the hell away from me,” Nayeon yelled.

“Nayeon please, I’m sorry,” Momo begged.

“Don’t you understand anything Momo? I don’t want us to lie to each other anymore. You love Sana, so why don’t you just go back inside and be with her?” Nayeon asked.

“I don’t want you to hate me,” Momo tried to hold her hand but she yanked it away.

“I don’t hate you, I never could. I want you to be happy and that’s all. I’ll admit that it hurts knowing I’m not the one you love, but it doesn’t make me hate you. Im leaving soon anyways, we should just give it up and say goodbye now,” Nayeon said.

Momo sighed and looked down at her feet.

“Good luck on tour,” was all she could think to say.

Nayeon nodded and continued down the sidewalk, never truly saying goodbye.

Momo couldn’t bring herself to go back to the party, so she walked all the back to her apartment and texted Jihyo to let her know she was safe.

She didn’t respond to the text that asked what happened.

Instead she threw her phone against the wall and went to bed. 

“Drama queen,” she thought.

“That’s what Sana would of said,” 

Fuck.

Momo forgot about Sana. 

___

A week later, Momo finally answered her phone.  
It was Dahyun calling, and Momo gathered up what little energy she had left and pressed answer.

“Momo What the fuck is wrong with you I’ve called 28 times!” Dahyun screamed the minute Momo picked up.

“I know,” Momo replied.

“No you don’t know! I called you 28 times because I wanted you to stop her! You’re so selfish Momo why didn’t you answer,” Dahyun was still yelling.

“What the hell are you talking about? Me and Nayeon broke up why would I stop her from going on tour?” Momo asked.

“Not Nayeon you idiot, Sana! She left and you couldn’t be bothered to even pick up,” 

“What the hell do you mean Sana left?” Momo was the one yelling now.

“She told she was going to travel for a while, maybe for a year. Did you hear that Momo? A year. My best friend is going to be gone for a year. She told me she just wanted to get away but I’m not stupid. I know something happened at that party.   
Sana left the country, Momo, why didn’t you just pick up,” Dahyun started crying.

“Sana’s gone?” Momo couldn’t tell if she asking a question or not.

The last time her and Sana spoke, Momo told her she ruined everything.

Momo was wrong.  
Sana made everything better.

Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, the way she looked when she was reading, the smell of her hair or the sound of her voice.

Momo was so very wrong.  
She said she didn’t love Sana.

But there was no one she loved more than Sana.  
Momo loved Sana the minute she saw her.  
Momo was so wrong.  
She let Sana get away.  
She made Sana leave.

“Sana,” it was suppose to be a thought but she found herself speaking the name aloud. 

“I wanted you to make her stay,” Dahyun said.

“I’m sorry, I really am. But I have to go,” Momo hung up the phone and threw it, once again, at the wall.

Sana was gone.

SanaSanaSanaSana

Momo’s thoughts were infected. 

She quickly dove across the room to pick up her now-cracked phone and dialed Sana’s number.

“You asshole!” She screamed when the ringing stopped.

Instead of Sana’s voice, she was greeted with the message that told her the number she dialed was disconnected.

“Disconnected,” Momo repeated in her head.

____

It’s been four months.

Four months without Nayeon.  
Four months without Sana.

Four very long and alcohol filled months in which Momo spent alone at home.

She had easy access to her classes online, and no real reason to see her friends, despite how many times they showed up and begged her to come out.

It’s not that Momo was sulking, because she wasn’t.  
She just kept telling herself that the only reason she was upset was because she felt guilty.

But every time she woke up her first thought was Sana. 

Anyways.

It’s been four months, and Momo’s doing great.

“The first step to accepting you’re a shitty person,” she said aloud in her bathroom mirror.

“Is to understand that you don’t deserve the love both people you hurt offered,” she smiled at her reflection and nodded.  
She was thinking of what to write in her will, since she was better off never leaving the house again.

Days and nights started mixing into one long second, time not really making sense anymore.

Momo slept a lot when she was alone, but these days she didn’t seem to sleep at all.  
When it was dark outside, she sat by her balcony and imaged that Sana and her were looking at the same stars.

Then she did shots.

When it was light outside, she sat in her bathroom and tried to be happy with the girl in the mirror.

That was something even alcohol couldn’t fix.

“Momo,” Jeongyeon said on the other end of the phone one day.

“Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far?”

Momo was barely paying attention.

“What if I die my hair blonde like in high school?” She asked, avoiding the original question.

“If you don’t start actually talking to me I’m gonna fucking shave all your hair off,” Jeongyeon yelled.

Momo did what she did best, and hung up.

That was two months after Sana left, and since then she stopped picking up the phone.

But it’s been four months now, and for the first time in a while, Momo checks the time.

9:42 am 

“Weird,” she says to nobody.

“I thought it was the afternoon,” she rolls back over in her bed and stares at the window.

“Momo,” Someone yells from outside. That someone was Jihyo.

She ignores it.

“Momo,” this time it’s a different voice, sounding a lot like Tzuyu.

“Momo you dumb bitch open the window,” Jeongyeon.

“We have a surprise for you,” Dahyun. 

“We know you can hear us,” Mina, who barely yells.

“Please? Just this once?” Chaeyoung.

“Momo, please, for me?” Nayeon.

 

“Nayeon?” Momo thought before quickly jumping up from the bed and rushing to look outside.

Sure enough, there was Nayeon, beautiful as ever, waiting on the sidewalk.

She smiled up at Momo.

“Open the window!” Jihyo shouted.

Momo lifted up the screen and stared at them.

“Jesus, you look terrible,” Jeongyeon noted.

“Thanks,” Momo rolled her eyes.

“It speaks,” Dahyun added.

“Momo, I know we left off on shitty terms. And I know I never said goodbye or anything like that, but my tour made a pit stop and I wanted to come see you, is that okay?” Nayeon asked, her voice softer than Momo remembered.

“Let me get dressed,” Momo said before slamming the window shut.

After only ten minutes, Momo stepped out of her apartment building for the first time in months.

She was greeted by a giant group hug and a lot of angry comments, all making her feel anxious.

“What did you guys want?” She asked.

“Well, I have two surprises, and this time you better pay attention,” Nayeon threatened.

Momo winced at the memory, but nodded for her to keep going. 

“So you don’t hate me anymore?” Momo asked.

“For a while there I did. But we’re people Momo, we fuck up. So let’s just leave it in the past okay?” Nayeon replied.

Momo nodded.

“Anyways, my first announcement is that Jeongyeon here has officially asked me to be her girlfriend, and I said yes,” 

“I never asked you to be my girlfriend, I said I maybe kind of don’t hate you enough to be with you. It’s a lot different,” Jeongyeon replied.

“Sure,”

“Why are you telling me this?” Momo asked, not sure why Nayeon was rubbing such a thing in her face.

“Well that’s where the second surprise comes in,” Nayeon turned around and opened the door of a taxi Momo had never even noticed.

 

Out of it stepped Sana.

 

“Hey Momo,” she said, her voice like honey, making Momo melt faster than she wanted to admit.

“h-hey Sana,” she choked out.

Sana smiled and waved off her taxi driver.

All of Momo’s friends stepped out of the way, leaving a clear path for Sana to reach her.

Without another word, Sana stepped forward and grabbed Momo by the shoulders, kissing her softly on the forehead.

Momo almost stopped breathing.

When she pulled away, Sana smiled and brushed some hair off Momo’s cheek.

“I’m sorry I left without saying anything. I thought I could do it, but the days seemed to drag on forever without you. Me and Nayeon talked, and she came up with the idea to bring me home. I hope you don’t hate me,” She explained.

Momo stood there with her jaw hanging, not quite processing what was going on.

“I think she needs a better explanation,” said Dahyun.

“Noted,” Sana grabbed onto Momo again and pulled her face close, but not kissing her.

“Momo, I came back because I want you to be my girlfriend,” Sana said slowly.

Momo nodded but made no effort to speak.

“If you don’t respond, I’m just gonna tell you this is a joke and I came to get my poetry book back,” 

That caused Momo to come back down to earth.

“No!” She shouted.

Sana raised her eyebrow and smirked.

“I mean, you can’t take the book back,” Momo said.

Sana winked at her before rolling up her sleeve to reveal a tattoo spread across her forearm.

“Como Conservatory, St. Paul, Winter” 

In plain black font.

“You dumb bitch,” Momo said with a smile.

“Now you have to say yes, or this is just embarrassing,” Sana teased.

Momo just kept smiling.

Sana.  
SanaSanaSanaSanaSanaSana

Momo loved her.


End file.
